The Misadventures of Beebird
by EtchedInLegend
Summary: Something is probably wrong with ThunderClan.


**Trying to get back into writing, so expect updates on this to be short and** **sporadic** **.**

A small golden-brown tabby was curled up in his nest, snoring softly. A stray beam of light filtered through the den entrance and hit him straight on his face. Beebird grumbled irritably and rolled over, now facing the prickly thorny wall of the Warrior's den. The tomcat sighed. Guess there was no sleep to be had today, huh?

He rose to his paws and shook the scraps of moss out of his pelt, taking extra care to groom out the stray flecks that often got caught behind his ears. Drawing a few quick licks over his paws, Beebird rushed out into the clearing, ready for the day! -Only to immediately trip into the Clan deputy. _Nice_.

"Beebird," Busheyes stated calmly, raising an eyebrow and lightly shoving him off of her. Beebird waited for a bit for her to continue, but she didn't. The small tom smiled awkwardly and took a few steps back.

"Hey Busheyes!" He greeted her back cheerfully. "What's up?" After not getting a response, he tried again. "...Got any patrols for me?"

"Yes." She replied.

"What time?"

"Now."

"...Hunting or patrol?"  
"Patrol."

"Who's leading it?"  
"Dropfrost."

Beebird nodded, spotting said gray-and-white tom standing by the camp entrance. "Thanks Busheyes!"  
The golden-brown tabby approached Dropfrost. "Hey Dropfrost! I'm on your patrol, right?" Dropfrost nodded several times in quick succession.

"Yep yep yep! This right here, the one-and-only border patrol lead by me, Dropfrost, going to check the WindClan border! Right now, right now!" The tomcat eagerly bounced on his paws, making Beebird laugh lightly.

"Who else is going?" Beebird asked curiously, tipping his head.

"My stunningly absolutely fan-tas-tic apprentice Pepperpaw! And the little lady herself, Blazerain!" Dropfrost borderline yelled, lashing his tail excitedly.

Beebird blinked at him for a few seconds, before settling for a simple, "...Nice." _Blazerain and Pepperpaw, huh? Sounds fun…_

"Isn't it?" Dropfrost beamed, "And look! Here they come now! Pepperpaw makes her way over, moody as usual, and Blazerain-!" The chatty tomcat was abruptly cut off by a paw straight to the face.

"Shut up!" A ginger she-cat hissed, her blue eyes practically flaming and fur bristling. Pepperpaw stood slightly behind her, a bored and dismissive expression painted onto her face.

"H-hi Blazerain," Beebird nervously greeted the she-cat, "Lovely, ah, morning, isn't it?"

Blazerain whirled around, training her narrowed eyes straight on Beebird. "You. Quiet. Now. Unless you want to end up like him."

Beebird snapped his jaw shut as fast as he could. He was _not_ about to deal with that, nope nope nope! Instead he gestured towards the camp entrance, as if to indicate that they should probably get going on that patrol now.

Pepperpaw huffed dismissively, "Don't you have vocal chords?" The she-cat muttered, ignoring Blazerain's searing glare. She flounced towards the camp entrance, a bristling Blazerain, a slightly limping Dropfrost, and a mute Beebird trailing behind her. What a great start to the day, huh?

As soon as Dropfrost set foot into the forest, he seemed to regain his energy. "Well isn't this just a fan-tas-tic little walk we're having right now! Yes siree, the forest happens to be particularly beautiful at this time of day, if I do say so myself!" Blazerain looked like she was about to tear his throat out (again?), however she was blocked by Beebird being unfortunately placed between her and her target. Instead, she settled for digging her claws into Beebird's side.

Beebird yelped, pain in his mew. "What was that for?" He half-asked, half-whimpered, blinking back tears. Her claws were _really_ sharp!

"You were in the way," Blazerain growled, "And I want to rip that idiot's tail off."

Beebird looked at her, about to say something, but quickly decided that that probably wasn't the best course of action. Instead, he simply moved to the side, probably dooming Dropfrost to a fate worse than death. _Sorry buddy, but better you than me_.

As Dropfrost was most likely dead within the next ten seconds, and Blazerain would soon convicted of catslaughter, Beebird decided that the only cat he could really talk to was Pepperpaw. "Hi Pepperpaw," He started awkwardly, bounding up to the she-cat.

Pepperpaw narrowed her eyes at him, "What do you want, loser?"

Beebird reeled back, slightly shocked at her callousness. "Are you okay? Last time I checked, you in particular didn't just casually insult cats."

Pepperpaw rolled her eyes, and made a scoffing noise deep in her throat. "You wouldn't understand," She mewed, dramatically tossing her head to the side. Beebird just stared at her in blatant confusion.

However, the fluffy tom was snapped out of his thoughts by a particularly loud comment from Dropfrost. "Well would you look at that, yes right there right there! It appears to be the border! What an ab-so-lutely _shocking_ development!"

Beebird looked, and it was indeed the WindClan border. There didn't appear to be any cats there, although a patrol had just passed by recently judging by the pungent smell of rabbit and other moorland-y things. "Cool, we can head back now," Beebird mewed, slightly relieved.

However, this didn't appear to be what Blazerain intended. The ginger she-cat strode up to Dropfrost, who was babbling on about something or another, and shoved him into the creek.

" _Blazerain!_ " Beebird exclaimed, shocked. The she-cat paid him no mind, and simply held his head down in the water. Dropfrost gurgled, and Beebird honestly couldn't tell if he was struggling or just trying to tell them how lovely the day was for the thousandth time.

Deciding enough was enough, the small tomcat barrelled into Blazerain, shoving her off of Dropfrost, who immediately started talking again. Blazerain drew herself up dangerously, and swiped at Beebird. Fortunately, Beebird had managed to duck. Just in time, too.

Blazerain hissed at Beebird, however she recognized that this was not how she wanted to waste her time. Letting out one final growl and shooting him one last dangerous glare, she vanished into the bushes, leaving Beebird to collapse onto the ground and try in vain to calm his rapidly beating heart.

"Is she going towards camp?" Pepperpaw asked quizzically from where she had been watching the happenings with a sort of morbid fascination. "Because I'm pretty sure that's not the right way. N-not that I care or anything!" Dropfrost nodded several times in agreement.  
"What a shame, yes what a shame that such a fine lady would get lost out in those dark woods all by her lonesome! Why, I-"

"Yes, we all know about your weird masochistic crush on her, now come on." Pepperpaw groaned, dragging her mentor away. "I'm getting back to camp so I can sleep away this miserable excuse for a life."

Beebird happily trailed after her. They made almost record time without several murder attempts, and soon were right in front of the now-bustling ThunderClan camp. Pepperpaw dropped Dropfrost like he was hot and borderline sprinted for the Apprentice's den, bowling over her brother, Webpaw, as he shook the sleep from his eyes.

Beebird also ignored Dropfrost, and instead settled for basking in the middle of camp. He was too done for anything else. However, peace was not to be his.

"Hello Beebird," A pure-brown tomcat purred, flicking his tail.

Beebird cracked one eye open, noticing that the tom standing over him was grasping a bundle of herbs in his jaws. "Hey Boldwhisker," He purred back, tucking his paws under his chest. "What's that you've got there?"  
Boldwhisker set the herbs down by his paws, eyes gleaming. "It's a highly effective cure," He assured Beebird, "Would you like to try it?"

Beebird tilted his head, "What does it cure?"

"Life!"


End file.
